For some time now I have been avoiding something. It was not a huge life altering decision, it was more a nagging you need to do this only you just to chicken to do it kind of thing.
It is so odd how God works out certain things and God being God and all His timing is always perfect. There are times when you have to wonder why certain things work out and other things do not. Mine is not to question why, mine is only to try to be obedient to what God is leading me to, or more to the point leading me away from.
I finally stepped away from an area of ministry today that I should have stepped away from several years ago. My failure to heed my inner prompting in favor of what other people wanted me to do spoke louder than my desire to be obedient to what God had been telling me to do. Today I finally had the courage to actually say the words out loud, as well as have those words be well received.
Isn't that the rub. We hesitate to do what we know we need to do because of fear that we will disappoint someone or that our choice or decision will make someone upset. Thankfully God is so much wiser than I am and He paved the way for me to step away from this ministry position. Now I am feeling the weight, or more actually describe as a ball and chain being freed from my life. I was serving because no one else wanted to do it, or more to the point because I was to hesitant to actually listen to what my heart was telling me to do…which was to let it GO!
The wonderful thing about begin called into any ministry is that some times it is a life long calling, however there are other times when it is only for a season. Our lives change as we grow in our faith and what I was called into many years ago may not fit the specific areas that are taking shape in my life right now.
As I breath a great sigh of relief, I also received a huge confirmation tonight that I had in fact done the right thing. I love it when God works so swiftly in matters. It was a very small confirmation, but it was defiantly a sign that I had made the right decision.
I also have to remember the words of one of my spiritual mentors. She often counsels that when we are constantly saying yes without really thinking or with misguided motives we may be in fact blocking a blessing that God is trying to work in someone one else life.
As I said to my dear friend and pastor tonight. I will always keep this ministry in my prayers. I feel certain that now that I have stepped way that might be just the needed push to allow someone else to step up and really light a fire for God.
Y’all I feel so much relieved…..I know that I did the right thing and I know that God is at work.
I sleep tonight knowing that a very small burden has been lifted. For that I am eternally grateful to God for being faithful to my service but also giving me the courage to step away when the time was right.
ISA 55 :8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.