God's Word for Today

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Release the Kraken……

She sat there patiently waiting. The banana she had eater about 45 minutes ago no longer kept the hunger pangs at bay. Doing the mental tally in her mind she pressed the button on her phone and saw that there was less than a few minutes until her child would be done and she could go home. She had done all of her bible study, she was hungry, she was borderline hormonal and she was a bit irritated that she no longer was able to get her afternoon naps on Sunday but chalked it up to the sacrifices of motherhood. Choir practice was minutes, possible even seconds away from being done. She could hear the other children slowly filleting down the hall and out the door. Her bag was sitting on the table ready to grab and then she was heading out the door. . She did this every week, week after week, quietly waiting at the table (the very same table I might add) for the children to finish making their joyful noise.

Today however unbeknownst to her she was about to encounter devil in disguise or possibly at least someone who worked for him in an upper management position, or maybe he was just a comely balding gentleman wearing rolled up blue jeans, a pale blue t-shirt and glasses. In any event as she walked out of the family center she thought to herself how fortunate for him that the good fairies had intervened in his behalf. His life had been spared and he did not even know how close to the depths of Hades he had actually come.

Sounds like a wonderful beginning to an interesting story…..it was a lettuce moment that was mercifully cut short before the shedding of blood could occur.

Soooo there I am sitting peacefully at a table in the back of our new cafe at church, minding my own business. Literally seconds away for getting out of my my chair and heading for the door. This older gentleman with the rolled up jeans walks over to me as I am patiently waiting for the girl child. He looks at me and says “We’re having a meeting in here.” Now under normal circumstances this short statement would seem very unassuming, but not today. He may have said “We’re having a meeting in here.” His tone, his body language, his authoritative snotty stare conveyed a totally different message. What he said and what I heard were two completely different things. What I heard was “I cant believe you are still sitting here, church ended a long time ago. I have this room reserved and you need to get collect your things and get out. We have important stuff to discuss and you are interrupting! Get up and get out right now or I will sick the cranky custodian on you!”

Now I’m thinking to myself, “Well isn't that special!” wondering just what this meeting has to do with me? I return his stare with a wordless stare of my own, thinking that he may elaborate on his stalemate.

Again he repeats rather forcefully “We are having a meeting in here!”

Well yaaaaaaaa for him I thought. I can only assume at this point that he was waiting for me to respond to him in some way so I gently explained that I was waiting for my child. Apparently this explanation was unsatisfactory.

“We reserved this room for a meeting!” I looked around and saw no reserved sign nor did I feel compelled to acquiesce. In fact at this point in the conversation I had visions of ever so gracefully reaching over and snatching his head from his neck and skipping around the room with it. My marginally hormonal state had now shifted from just a bit on edge to a full throttle eruption.

The words “We’re having a meeting in here!” began to echo in my brain…by the second time he had made this statement I am having a very unchristian like conversation with myself in my head. Vision of the Kraken erupting from the water and snatching this elderly gentleman from my sight, slicing him in half and tossing his body in the air and swallowing it down in one wonderful gulp was at the top of my list. If he had just had the presence of mind to assess the situation and waited but a few seconds………but noooooooo. Thankfully at that precise moment the Lord was kind and there appeared my girl with her friend in tow ready to be ushered home.

As I walked out of the family center I thanked God for His provision, for protecting that older gentleman from the wrath of a hormonal shrew. I also confessed my weakness and my unkind murderous, vicious and deadly thoughts and wondered why some folks simply don’t just say what they mean. I also wondered why some think they have a right assert themselves in situations that are from outward appearance no big deal.

I wasn't hurting anyone and it was a very big room, not to mention there are only close to 500 other rooms in our church with which proper meeting are held every day.

I am sure that my presence at that table (the very same table that I have been sitting at for weeks now with out incident) was in some way altering the space time continuum of church regulations and whatever they were going to be discussing was so top secret that the thought of proceeding before removing all unwanted elements was simply unthinkable.

In a perfect world I am sure he is a very sweet elderly gentleman. However I wonder had he approached me with words of kindness instead of rude authoritative meanness how might that have impacted my internal dialog.

I thought about the importance of our actions lining up with our words. I was very thankful that I did not let my tongue out of its sheath and give this man a piece of my mind. But boy did I want to run back into the cafe…which is a new areas designed to be a common areas for gathering (not holding meetings) and give him a real good tongue lashing…but I just stood up, collected my things took a deep breath and said “Hey girls! Y’all ready to go?” and walked from the room leaving them to the top secret church meeting.

My desire for retribution with either death or dismemberment was left unquenched…….or maybe I was just tireed, hungry, hormonal and ready for my nap….what do y’all think.



PS: My P365 will be up shortly when my blood calms back down and I can manage to stop thinking of new and painful ways exact my revenge on nasty ill tempered elder gentleman wearing sneakers with rolled up blue jeans and glasses.


skoots1mom said...

hahahaha; i'm surprised you didn't ask him if he had any lettuce...and let him WONDER what that was all about...

Good girl!

The Bug said...

I love it when you share these moments with us :)

P.S. I hope you plan to sit in the same place next week!

sara said...

oh my word, I am laughing so hard. Mainly because I can SO relate to this!!!

my really it is just plain sad how we treat each other within the church...kind of a pet peeve of mine.

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