“Please Sir, may I have some more?”

Sometimes (in hindsight I have to laugh, and trust me we had a great laugh at this the next day) however in the heat of the moment I found nothing funny about it!

It happens sometime, I have these moments when the logical normal semi-reasonable person that I claim to be on most days simply abandons ship and what is left, well it simply isn’t pretty. 

The sad thing is that there are moments when this phenomenon is controllable, when I have the ability to contain the hormonally driven beast that reside within. However there are other moments when it will erupt without notice and then well the aftermath is simply frightening for everyone involved. 

It was a normal day, this past Wednesday, skoots1mom and I walked into the local Zaxby's to have lunch after bible study. I will gracefully concede to allowing my dear sweet friend to fill in her perspective as she got a wonderful first hand account to this peri-menapauseal incident if she is so inclined. 

There was no hint that the hormonal tide was about to shift however it only takes what most people would possibly consider to be a seemingly inconsequential occurrence. 

But here is the thing, sometimes a simple question is NOT a simple question. 

Here is what happened, to the best of my recollection…. 

“Can I take your order?” 

“I would like the Blue Salad with the Buffaloed chicken, no fried onions and I would like some extra lettuce on my salad please.” 

The young woman looks back at me with a start and immediately has a panicked expression on her face. She turns to her manager and says “She wants extra lettuce, what do I do?”

 At this point I am sorry that I asked. I did not know that extra lettuce was such an issue. In all honesty I have requested extra lettuce before with no ill effect what so ever, however the lettuce police were apparently in full forces on this particular day. 

Do you remember the scene from the movie “Oliver” where he meekly approaches the headmaster and asks “Please Sir, may I have some more?”  Well if you saw the movie you now what happen next. 

The second employee comes over and the girl behind the cash register again says, “She wants extra lettuce, what do I do?” 

The day manger (I am assuming this was who she was) looks at me an says “Ma’m we weigh our lettuce,” 

Now I am wondering exactly what weighing lettuce has to do with my request. 

Again I say, “I would just like a little extra lettuce on my salad!” 

I can feel my composure slipping, and again I am told that “Ma’m we weigh our lettuce.” 

Now if she had just stopped right there this incident could quite possibly have been avoided but as most things go it always gets worse. 

The next words that came out of her mouth were the tipping point for me. 

“Is that not enough for you?” 

After this I simply could not be held responsible for what happen next. 

Under normal circumstances I am a reasonable person, nice even, compassionate and forgiving. But these words floated in the air around my head “Is that not enough for you?”

“Is that not enough for you?” there are starving people in Ethiopia you know!

“Is that not enough for you?” there is a recession on and your extra lettuce request could just possible drive us out of business.

I was standing dumbfounded.

All I wanted was a small handful of extra lettuce and apparently this was causing a major incident. All semblance of reason left my personality and something else (something dark and evil) took over. 

I was standing there and I looked at the both of them and screeched in my most effect hormonal shrew imitation “IS IT ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY!” 

Skoots1mom would later inform me that this mental breakdown I was having reverberated all over the restaurant as she was a few people behind me in line. 

Well the look upon my face sent these two young women scurrying with great haste for extra lettuce. They began to break out in a cold sweat in fear that I was about to jump over the counter in search of the extra lettuce myself. 

In my defense I did say that if it was going to be a problem that it was really no big deal, I would settle for the meager application of lettuce that they meter out in their salads. I did try. 

However the beast had been loosed and there I stood shaking my head and regretting even wanting a salad for lunch. 

The girl behind the counter was so fluster that she immediately rung my order up and I did not have a chance to order my drink. I had to place a second order and pay for my drink separately. Finally having paid for my salad and drink as well as the right to feel completely ridiculous, I went to me seat to wait for my order to be called. 

My number came up and I went to retrieve my salad. The poor woman looks at me and cowers that I will scream at her again and demand more slice tomatoes. 

But she simply says “is that all right?” I snatched my salad away and gave her a cursory “That is just fine”, all the while seething. Seething first for the ridiculousness of it all and secondly that I had just bit the head of this poor girl over a handful of lettuce. What was wrong with me????? 

I settle in to try to enjoy my lunch and skoots1mom arrives with her chicken wings (if only I had ordered the wings, yes... chicken wings would have saved me the humiliation... hindsight is in fact twenty twenty all of this could have been avoided if only...) 

I look at her and say “Well my sarcasms was showing wasn’t it!!!” or something to that effect. 

Now here is the wonderful thing about accountability.

She very coolly looked at me and says “Yes, yes it was!” her eyes said you went over the top, her eyes said you lost your cool, and I knew that she was right.

As I ate my lunch I ruminated over the lettuce debacle and it was a major topic of conversation between skoots1mom and me for several minutes. 

It was nearly instantaneous as I was sitting down that I realized that and apology was in order. The conviction of the Holy Spirit is an uncomfortable place to be in while you’re trying to digest your salad. 

As we were leaving the restaurant I went to refill my drink and found that God took pity on my weakness. The poor woman whose head I had bitten off was at the counter alone. I walked over to her and gestured to her to come over to me. She briefly hesitated, I am sure she thought that she was about to receive yet another tongue lashing over my dissatisfaction. 

I reached out and touched her hand and simply apologized. I said I as sorry for loosing my temper and expressed to her how hard her job is and when the customers make it more difficult for her to do her job, well it was uncalled for. 

I smiled at her and refilled my drink and left the restaurant.

Blessings

Robin