What ya’ll didn’t know!

Just so ya know: This is a warning to the faint of heart or the occasional male reader, the content of the post below contains references to some parts of the female anatomy that tend to send most men running for cover or the safety of the a really good manly man television show such as Weaponology, Weapon Masters, Future Weapons (basically anything that explodes, destroys, blows up or uses lasers or heat seeking technology in any way shape or form) so proceed at your own risk, you have been warned!

Have you ever had those moments where despite all reason and faith you allow your imagination to run ahead into the what if's of a situation.

You see 16 years ago I received a cancer diagnosis, that in it’s self is a huge praise. At the time of the diagnosis I can truthfully say that I found no blessing in it at all. However after many long years and many profound revelations Jesus met me and opened so many lessons to me about how the act of suffering can bring with is a multitude of time delayed blessings.

Confession time, I did not come to understand this symbiotic connection with suffering revealing blessings until much later. It was many many years after my recovery, and many more years of being cancer free before I was mature enough in my faith to be able to call my cancer a blessings.

I have moments just prior to my yearly, or in my case bi-yearly pap tests that cause me a slight pause to consider the what if’s of an unknown future. Yet most times I am able to place my worry and concern in their proper perspective and lay them securely in the capable hands of my Heavenly Father.

He is always faithful to meet my every need and will always remove my unfounded fears.

I have to share with you that over the last four days I have been in a place where I have not only run ahead but I buckled in the drivers seat with my foot securely pressed down on the gas pedal barreling full speed ahead into the nasty what if’s of things that might be. When there are biopsy results pending your focus shifts a bit, when you know how it feels to receive the distressing unhappy news of unfavorable test result it is sometimes difficult to simply wait without playing the what if game.

So what is the rest of the story…

I went in for a routine D&C this past Friday (what a wonderfully romantic way to spend the Valentines Day weekend not to mention Friday the 13th), dontcha just love all this girly perimenapausal crap!!! Well to make a long and unpleasant story into a short and unpleasant one, we all showed up but my cervix decided to put out the no admittance sigh and the D & C was not able to be preformed. This however did not hinder my intrepid physician from stopping to take a detailed look around where he could! 

Wooo to the Hoo, Yea right!! Not so much!!

Well my wonderfully proactive doctor spotted some suspicious looking tissue and took a biopsy. Now I know that there is always a possibility of something showing up but when it actually does it is a bit different.

I came home from work today and went about my normal everyday stuff…I went into the kitchen to get my supper ready and noticed the message machine blinking. I pressed the sweet little red button and heard the wonderful news. All the pathology result came back clear and everything is fine. I took a deep breath and quietly thanked God and then asked Him to forgive me for my weakness in allowing fear to overtake me.

What a difference a few hours can make. This morning I was contemplating my mortality and obsessing over the what if’s of life. Oh the places the mind goes when you open the floodgates of fear and give it a great big push.

What I know for sure is that in those moments when I was teetering on the abyss of fear God sent me His steadfast word to meet me.

When I needed a distraction or a sounding board I had my sisters in Christ either across the lunch table, on the telephone or holding my hands in prayer.

I had my wonderful husband to fix chicken noodle soup and ginger ale for me as I recovered on my living room sofa. I don’t know about you but for me that’s romantic, he took very good care of me!

So, if over the course of the last several days you were prompted to pray for those who were facing the unknown or going through something difficult or awaiting test results well you were possibly praying for me and didn’t even know it.

God is good!

He is faithful!

He watches over me even when I am looking at the fear instead of in His direction!

Breathing Deeply and Loving My Heavenly Father!

Blessings

Robin