Be Still and Know...Then and Now

I had never had a hip injection before so I was a bit apprehensive going into the procedure. Unless you have nerves of steel, I think most normal folks would experience moments of apprehension at the prospect of any medical procedure that involves long needles. During major surgery you have the benefit of being unconscious, however for this very minor procedure a small local anesthetic was all that was required. I was patient #7. It was like a human cattle call, we were all lined up in a medical assembly line, each partitioned off in our separate little curtained waiting areas with our warmed blankets, hospital gowns, matching disposable shower caps and fuzzy socks with the skid proof tread on the feet. The doctor actually had to help me put on my fuzzy socks as I could not bend over to put them on myself. She had come in to introduce herself. She took pity on me when she noticed that I had only managed to get one sock on. She bent down retrieved the lone sock and put it on for me. ...

You know that point when it is easier to take a second picture that spend thirty minute looking though all your digital files looking for a photo you know you have already taken....yea that moment right now! Moving on!  I am participating in a bible study on Wednesday evening at out church. It's called Experiencing God. I know in my heart that all study of God's Word does not return to us empty, it will return to us with whatever gift, message or direction that God chooses. It is never a waste of time and it is never to be taken lightly.  I will say that with most bible studies I have taken I usually find myself in a situation where the author and I departed on certain theories or even interpretations. That's ok as well. We all come to the study of God's Word on different levels of need. The concept of this bible study is not unfamiliar to me. It starts from a place of recognizing that God in His infinite wisdom is always at work...

Does the sound of the rain comfort you? I was sitting in my chair this morning listening to the rain and wondering. Is there any sound in the world that brings with it a more peaceful feeling? Maybe the train whistle far off in the distance that I just heard comes close. I am not sure why I opened up blogger this morning. The daughter just left for school, which means due to our lack of adequate transportation I am under house arrest until she returns. We make due until we can sort out this latest wrinkle, not having a big ol' pile of money for a third car at our disposal is at times a big pain in my you know what. Had the girlchild heeded our warnings several years ago and set about saving the necessary funds then none of this would be necessary, yet again the sacrifices a parent makes for the needs of a child. The reality, like I was getting out in the rain to drive her to school just so I could have the car.....sooooooo not happening this morning. S...

Ever since I was a little girl I have had a significant fear of conflict. I once witnessed an argument between my parents and my dad left afterwards. I translated that to mean that if you fight with your husband then they walk out on you and never come back. In reality my dad actually did walk out on us. However I feel certain it was not a result of that one argument that I witnessed as a child. It took me many years to make the connection between what I had witnessed as a child and my fear of conflict in all areas of my life. As a grown woman who has successfully maneuvered over thirty plus years of marriage I can state that I still shy away from conflict, but I no longer feel that a marital spat will end my marriage. Regretfully the scars of my experience have translated to a hesitation to enter into situations where I think there may be some conflict involved. My stomach begins to hurt and I have an automatic flight response. I want to avoid any forms of conflict. The other t...

Some days my brain and thought process works just fine, like today. I was able to follow through with several projects and actually get them completed.  Other days, if feels like my brain is stuffed with an enormous wad of hormonally soaked cotton. I teeter on bursting into tears over not being able to remember to remove the dryer lint from the lint trap or resisting the urge to break all my dinner plates by smashing them against the kitchen floor.  Toss into the mix a mouthy teenage daughter and by the end of the day the administration of a medicinal cocktail is a requirement not a luxury! The other side effect of all of this is that my tolerance for complications is almost non existent. Case in point, now that the girlchild had gradated high school the next logical step is collage. However, almost everything about the process of getting her enrolled into college has been an exercise complications, errors and a big fat waste of time and energy. None of wh...

I’ve been thinking about updating my blog for about forever, however the desire, the energy, the actually words to share seemed to disappear. It’s only August and it feels like about ten years has passed. Sometimes things pile up on ya, when life tosses a whole pile of stuff at your door and you sit back and wonder why does life have  to be so hard at times. The reality, my life is no more or less difficult than anyone else's. My mom died in January. It was very unexpected and it was defiantly not the way we expected to begin the new year. My daughter graduated from high school in May, again, I’m not the only mom dealing with shifting roles, growing pains and learning how to parent a child that wants to be a grown-up, but in reality is still a child in my mind. Hormonally, I am on the downward spiral and find that the ebbing of my natural female function to be difficult. The emotional ups and downs are at times very difficult to maneuver through. Focusing on the reality ...

How to begin… As a Christian, as a mom there are times when I feel overwhelmed. Case in point, last night on the way to church the girlchild was behind the wheel. The customary mode of operation is that as soon as her butt hits the seat there is an automatic change in the radio station. The concept of driving without music is just not an option. So there I sit in the passenger seat and it begins to wash over me. I am listening to the words that are pouring forth  from the radio and I am in shock. I continue to listen, wondering when the pod person is going to bust forth from my child's chest, because surely my sweet precious child would never listen to such as this. I cast a glance over to the drives side and watch as we travel along. Song number two comes on and again I am listing to the lyrics and becoming more and more alarmed. When my brain and my heart could take no more, fortunately we had come to a stop sigh. I had a moment to ask without distracting her, I asked “Do you...

  I was listening to the radio this morning. I love listening to Victory 91.5 . This is a station based here in the state where I live but you can also listen on the internet if you want to check it out. They are truly a radio ministry. They read scripture and pray on the air several times a day. If you haven’t tuned in you should! In my prayer time this morning I was seeking some direction, some discernment in what I need to do. Do I need to seek some part time employment, no I need to commit to facilitate a bible study, do I need to sign up for a bible study, do I, do I, do I……I was asking for direction. A LOT of direction. The great thing about God is that no matter how much or what you place before him his well of attentiveness is bottomless. He never fails to draw near to listen. As I was driving this morning I was listening to a small teaching moment in between songs and the subject matter was the Parable of the Talents. The theme of the teaching moment was focusing on m...

I would love to be able to share that I am out of my hormonal funk. Unfortunately this nasty cloud of toxic thinking still hovers. It feels as if it is stuck to me with super glue.  On the upside I do recognize that being the mature grown woman I am I do not have to let it invade all areas of my life. I may feel crappy emotionally as well as physically, this does not give license to make the others with in my sphere of influence miserable. I may want to inflict bodily harm and I am trying my best to keep it to myself. But I digress. I was looking for some relevant scripture to post over on the facebook page I set up for our pottery studio this morning. If you want to go over and take a look at our page here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/WildcatPottery . I try to keep it updated with all our current inventory. But I digress again… maintaining focus also seems to be influenced by hormonal deficiencies… Anyhoooo, I found this piece of scripture from Jeremiah. Jeremiah 1...

It started very early, before I even got out of bed. My thought life was going places it just did not need to go. As it does from time to time I woke with thoughts of doom and gloom. Thoughts that no mother ever wants to ponder upon. I lay there for several minutes allowing the thoughts to weigh heavy upon me, then I recognized it for what it was. Away from me Satan, it’s Sunday and I need to get ready for church. The evil one is persistent. It was a series of very small things, however it was just enough to shift my mood, my thoughts to a place where they should not have been. I got myself ready for church, I was ready to go, purse on my shoulder and the Girlchild points to my chin and announces “You have a GIANT white hair right there!” From the look on my face she then follows with “Well it’s better than waiting to point it out to you at church!” I concede to her logic and redeposit my purse and other things to the counter and go on a hair plucking mission. We managed to hit...

Confession time here! There are times when I just want to dig a mote and build a huge wall around my house. I want to just shut myself off from the world. The evening news, the things and people you come in contact with on a daily basis, well most of it just hurts my heart. I want one of those “Hide” buttons like I have on Facebook. There are some things I just don’t want to see, and LOTS of things out there that are just not supposed to be seen. Wouldn’t it be great if there was a real life hide button. Just think of the possibilities… However living in the real world I know that there is a HUGE difference between the things I should not see and the things I don’t want to see. There are times when I am just like Paul, the very thing I know I should not do is the very things I end up doing. Then the things I know I should do, or the things I know Jesus would do are the very thing I don’t do. Life is so very hard sometimes. Doing the right thing, or the Jesus things is almost always...

Which for me can be a bit dangerous. However with my fluctuating hormonal state I have to take the functional brain activity when I can get it. The other day at the pottery studio we were talking, that is not unusual, we are always chattering about all sorts of things, however one of our newest Pottery Peep’s commented on a picture I had posted on Facebook of my latest painting. She and I had been friend for years but apparently it had never come up in conversation “I had no idea you were an artist!” she said. There are things that may be, at times, to personal to share about ones self for fear that you place your heart out there for all the world to see. Plus sometime I just think the whole thing is just not noteworthy enough to bring up in conversation. Also at the age I am I am finding that I am less and less concerned of what other folks think of me, however I am a bit more sensitive where my creative endeavors are concerned. It is sort of like wanting to please your favorite a...

Who’s there….well it’s me!   After a very long break from blogging, well long break for me that is. I have decided that I will try to be a bit more proactive with my blog. Thanks Dana for the bit of encouragement, it is nice to know one is missed from time to time :) Sometime ya just don’t have anything ta say…and sometimes ya do… I have been spending a lot of time working on my pottery and I have started painting again so my time has been a bit divided by my creative pursuits. I am having more fun than should be allowed, however it can be a bit of a downer when the reality of life interrupts the fun. Having to stop and be a mom every now and again can be a real drag…those pesky parental duties such as collage visits and senior portraits. All I can tell you is that back in the dark ages we did not do things like college visits or senior pictures. We all got the same blue velvet off the shoulder drape and that was the end of it. Now they do multiple changes of clothing, diffe...

Who’s there? I am still pondering my lack of blog fodder, I think I have lost the capacity to come up with an original thought, or maybe I am just obsessed with the clay, it seems that's all I can think about…I wake up thinking about it and I go to sleep thinking about it! What I will make next, what I want to learn how to do next….. This is Angel #3….   My last angel bit the dust….literally!   Live and learn and keep practicing!!!!!!   I have to go wake the hubs up I a few minutes, and I was thinking about how quiet my house is this morning and how things change in life. My daughter and 160 of our youth at church are off to their annual Spring Break Retreat at PCB. They go to a Christian retreat facility in Laguna Beach every year. Confession time here: Where my daughter is concerned that nut did not fall to far from the maternal tree in sooooooo many ways. Last week when she was nearly driving me to distraction with all her preparations, double checking he...

Ok I’m trying here…another post in the black hole that is or was my blogging mojo…. 1. What are your plans for Easter? Our plans are very simple. We are going to church and then probably just returning home for lunch. Are you cooking a big lunch or dinner?   Normally I do not cook on Sunday’s and Easter is no exception. However this year the Hub’s birthday falls on Easter Sunday, so I am throwing a small Easter/Birthday dinner. Dyeing eggs? Probably not, we did when the kids were little and Muffinhead has not been here in a few days so we have not had the opportunity to have any Easter fun. Attending a sun rise service?   Our church does hold a sunrise service out at our campground but I for one will be snug in my bed at seven am. Eating too much chocolate? Does German Chocolate Cake count? That’s the Hubs cake of choice for his birthday. I do still have to assemble Muffinhead Easter basket so there might be a few chocolate eggs involved…….. ...

My husband is out of town/really out of town as he is in Germany so we had frozen pizza for dinner last night. Since my husband is out of town I had not unloaded or reloaded the dishwasher in several days. It is now loaded and my kitchen sink is now full of very hot sudsy water trying to get the last bit of frosting residue off the decorating tips I used to make Muffinhead’s birthday cake. The aftermath….. The results, she really loved her cake y’all! I now re-remember why I stopped doing wedding cakes….the clean up is a killer. The lemon thyme that I cut back to nothing this past fall is now bursting up from the pruned stems in a dark green lushness that just makes me want to go out and run my fingers over. I love my herb garden. I have to make one last harvest of my swiss chard from the veggie patch and then I can get in there and turn over the dirt and amend it to get my spring veggie garden planted. My pottery buddy and I are trying to work up some inventory for a sprin...