What did y’all do this morning???

August 11, 2009

If you have been keeping up with skoots1mom over at My Hands…His Glory you know that she and I have been working out.

She has a small workout room set up in her basement and I have a workout room down at the clubhouse in our subdivision. We have been alternating. This week we are at my clubhouse.

This morning as I made my way down to the workout room, skoots1mom was running a bit behind so I headed in and started my workout without her.

It was a busy morning at the old workout room. Just after I arrived three other people showed up. One gentleman quietly listened to his iPod as he did the weight machine, no big deal. However as I finished up my weight work in came two teenage girls. Girl A, who I will affectionately call Twiggy because she quite possible weighed in at maybe 90 pounds. Then there was Girl B, also a tiny slip of a thing, had on black sweats with three white glitter skeleton heads across the seat of her pants and a black tee shirt, so I will fondly refer to her as Skull Girl.

Now Twiggy immediately hopped on the elliptical and began bouncing away as Skull Girl did a few stretching exercises.

I think it was Twiggy who asked me if I would mind if they turned on their music. I looked at them in my most compassionate manner and pause ever so slightly from my free weights and said “Well..(brief pause again for effect) I guess so…” now this translated perfectly into what I really meant which was “Well No! I really don't want to listen to any head banging, punk rocking, teeny bopping music right now thank you very much!” and the music was quickly forgotten. My Bad???? That’s what iPod's are for people!

But I digress.

I had finished up my weight work and had moved over to one of the treadmills. Twiggy was bouncing along on the elliptical to my left and Skull Girl had finished up her stretching and had moved to the treadmill on my left.

It was a cardio sandwich y’all, and I was the big fat thick slice of 50 year old ham in-between the two skinny young pieces of tone, lean, smooth, fat free pita bread.

My joy was complete as the wall in front of the exercise equipment is lined with floor to ceiling mirrors so you can capture your every wiggle and jiggle in living color! Which by this time the “living color” of my face was beet red with rivers of dripping sweat pouring down.

I look to my left and Twiggy was yawning as she bounced along on the elliptical and Skull Girl was admiring her hair and turning her face from side to side to get a better view of her teenage radiance. Still not a drop of sweat for either Twiggy or Skull Girl. Twiggy may have actually taken a small nap as she bounced along on the elliptical. I did see her put her head down a few times. Skull Girl after she had sufficiently admired herself and finished adjusting her hair into a neat but still randomly messy pony tail began to run full tilt on the treadmill.

At this point as I watched Twiggy and Skull Girl effortlessly gliding, not sweating, fluffing their hair and admiring their full length radiance I decided that I had somehow been transported to an alternate universe of utter humiliation.

In a last ditch effort to avoid further humiliation, and because I was sweating so much that they were already sliding off my face, I simply removed my glasses and set them in the cup holder.

Instead of an crystal clear high definition representation of my humiliation I could ease my pain with the reality that I can not see beyond my elbow without my glasses.

Twiggy and Skull Girl could have been running the Boston Marathon, fixing their hair for prom and doing their nails and thankfully it was all a blur to me.

As I huffed and puffed my way down to my last 5 minutes on the treadmill Skoots1mom arrived and then shortly there after Skull Girl and Twiggy left.