FREAKING OUT HERE!
I am not sure I even know where to start.
There are times when things run smoothly, like a well oiled time piece, the precision and the accuracy are a thing of beauty. The graceful sweeping motion of the second hand as it makes its revolution around the dial marking each minute one after the other.
There is comfort in the unchanging things like the passage of time the rising and the setting of the sun, the constants of life.
But what do you do when the constants of life seem to be out of sync? What do you do when life seems to be out of balance and you look around and you begin to wonder how things got so out of whack?
Then when one thing is out of whack you wake up the next morning only to find that the amount of wackiness has increased by an exponential rate and you are surrounded by overwhelming circumstances.
Overwhelming, even scary circumstances.
How do you overcome the fear?
You see the logical, faith grounded side of me knows exactly where the fear comes from but when you toss in the motherly instinct to protect my child and prevent them from suffering well that’s an entirely different ball of wax. When I am faced with something that I know is going to cause my child discomfort and a certain amount of pain even if it is medically necessary it sets my stomach to churning and the what if’s begin to cycle through my brain on an endless loop.
You see, my DD was diagnosed with Scoliosis in January, without going into all the gory details the curvatures (there are two of them, upper and lower and they are both fairly significant percentages of curvature) are such that surgery, a Posterior Spinal Fusion to be exact, will be required to correct the spinal alignment to something that resemble normalcy.
Adolescent idiopathic scoliosis is a long mouthful of a diagnosis. It is not genetic, there is genetic scoliosis which shows up in infants and very young children. There is traumatic scoliosis that is a result of a traumatic injury like an automobile accident and then there is adolescent idiopathic scoliosis. This type of scoliosis is very common in girls as they approach adolescents and my DD falls right in that category. Idiopathic… if you’re medically ignorant like I was this means that they simply do to know why it happens.
The surgery is major surgery and it is TWO WEEKS away. We had it scheduled for the end of July but God has opened the door for it to happen much sooner than we had anticipated.
This has sent me into a tizzy of rescheduling, shuffling, emailing teachers, making phone calls, making more phone calls and then making some more phone calls which have added to the general state of over the top tizzienss, basically I can’t seem to focus on anything else.
I’ve had surgery before but nothing this major and I am wondering how do we explain all the details to a young girl who has nothing in the world to worry about except when we are going to upgrade her cell phone plan and checking her facebook page.
You see I know and trust that this is in God’s hands but regretfully I keep snatching it back for small moments during the day so that I may “FREAK OUT”
After sufficiently experiencing moments of mental incapacity I then remember whose I am and who is in control. I have to seek forgiveness for my unbelief (MK 9:24 Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!") and take a few deep breaths and tell myself that I am the grown up and I need to get a grip.
I also know what it says in 2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us (ME) a spirit of timidity (in some translations fear is used as apposed to timidity, the New Revised Robin Version translates fear to “FREAKING OUT”), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
Soooo over the next few weeks we will be in a flurry of pre-operative appointments, CT scans, directed blood donations, making alternate arrangement for the testing that she will miss as the surgery is three days before school lets out, getting her braces off her teeth, not because of the surgery but because it was already in the works when all the changes took place.
So….let count shall we
My DD has major surgery in less than two weeks
There is a leak in my roof that comes right through our electrical box in the garage, yes the electrical box…and when there is a heavy rain storm I have a small stream running through my garage as I wait for my house to short our and possibly burn to the ground.
Our sweet puppy is determined to dig to china via my brand new raised veggie bed and has also taken to pooping on my dinning room floor.
I am adjusting to being a grandmother!
The hubs is out of town!
My part time job is becoming problematic.
There is a swine flu epidemic.
And I’m out of chocolate frozen yogurt!
I covet your prayers for my sanity, my endurance and the strength to allow God to sooth my motherly fears for what is to come.
Pray for the surgeons hand to be steady, (really really steady)the healing process to be swift and that the surgery will be a huge success so that my DD will be back in action texting her friends, checking her facebook and going to UMYF in no time at all.
My time will be limited over the next few weeks so my posts may be sporadic but I will try to keep y’all updated.
I ask for your prayers for the peace that transcends understanding and for the ability to turn my anxieties over to God just as quickly as they arise.
PHP 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Blessings
Robin
Comments
Secondly, I have scoliosis which was discovered when I was a sophomore in high school. Because of the severity of the curve, one hip is over an inch higher than the other. But back in the day, such surgery would have meant weeks in the hospital followed by several months in a body cast and they didn't do the surgery unless the curve was compromising a vital organ or something.
I spent my senior year of high school encased in a back brace that went from my chin down to below my hips. I had to wear the brace 23-1/2 hours per day, even sleeping in it. I could only take it off to shower and do a short regimen of exercises. For.One.Whole.Year.
And don't even get me started on how much fun it was to spend my senior year looking like a robot with metal bars poking out in weird places and solid, very thick plastic creating a LARGE tubular physique. I wanted to burn that thing when they finally let me out but it would have released toxic gases into the atmosphere so we didn't.
So as scary as the surgery is, be thankful it's an option. I've had several friends with children (always girls, isn't that interesting?) who were diagnosed with scoliosis and the advances made in treating it have been phenomenal!
Breathe, nice and deep, all the way to your belly button.
Your compassion for your dd is like no other, and our Lord understands your loving anxieties(His mama was feeling it as He walked the earth and endured the cross).
We know "you know who" loves to pounce on us when we're most vulnerable. As we continue praying you up for DD, we'll add the others to the list and especially boost the prayers for more chocolate frozen yogurt!
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
I will, of course be praying for you and DD and for the doctors' hands to be steady and sure and I have faith that God will answer all your prayers and this will be over almost before it even starts.
Marj