Ever since I was a little girl I have had a significant fear of conflict. I once witnessed an argument between my parents and my dad left afterwards. I translated that to mean that if you fight with your husband then they walk out on you and never come back. In reality my dad actually did walk out on us. However I feel certain it was not a result of that one argument that I witnessed as a child.
It took me many years to make the connection between what I had witnessed as a child and my fear of conflict in all areas of my life. As a grown woman who has successfully maneuvered over thirty plus years of marriage I can state that I still shy away from conflict, but I no longer feel that a marital spat will end my marriage.
Regretfully the scars of my experience have translated to a hesitation to enter into situations where I think there may be some conflict involved. My stomach begins to hurt and I have an automatic flight response. I want to avoid any forms of conflict.
The other truth in life is that there will always be some kind of conflict. That is just a hard and true fact of life.
Some conflict is easy to overcome, some conflict is is necessary and then some conflict is just silly and unnecessary.
I had to put on my big girl panties this morning and bite the bullet and deal with the silly and unnecessary.
I am an easy going kind of girl, I don’t go in for all the latest styles or fashion. I am in to comfort, into easy, I may run a brush through my hair and on occasion a flat iron. So the state of my hair has never been a major concern for me. However as I was gazing upon the result of this latest haircut I was NOT happy. Now this in itself is saying a lot, like I said I am very easy going. But I was looking at my hair wondering if the young woman with the hello kitty tattoo on her wrist was actually looking at my hair as she was hacking away at it. Was she using scissors or a chainsaw? Then I began to wonder about the wisdom of actually allowing someone with a hello kitty tattoo to cut ones hair!
What to do next I thought. I needed a bit of reinforcement. You see I had never had a situation like this before. How does one deal with a bad haircut? I sought comfort and a resolution from my facebook peep’s, they would know what to do!
Thank you facebook for bolstering my position. Yes, I did have a right to not to look like I had been hacked away at with a chainsaw by a blind woman with a hello kitty tattoo! But now what?
You see I know what to do! The grown up portion of my brain realizes that I will not crumble into a puddle if I ask for someone else to fix my hair. It’s my hair right!
I don’t want this person to loose their job, but this is just not work’n for me!
So I now enter the putting on of my grown up panties portion of the morning. I had to call the salon and ask who was working today. Alas the blind woman with the tattoo will be there as I have the manager fix my hair. This revelation is causing me a huge source of discomfort. But I am going to be re-reminding me that I did put on my big girl panties this morning and it is my hair and I paid good money to have it cut and….and…..and……
So in the grand scheme of things the state of my hair is non-existent when placed in it’s proper context of World Peace, Ebola and Beheadings.
But I am hoping for acceptable results this afternoon and that the blind woman with the hello kitty tattoo won’t come after me with her chainsaw!