I’ve been thinking….which for me at this stage in my life is a real accomplishment.
I was watching Regis and Kelly this morning and Jan Fonda was on. She was commenting on the fact that she is now seventy plus years old. I then began to physically hate her for looking so good at the age of 70something. She was on the show to promote her latest book which I probably will not read. However her conversation did give me pause to think about a few things.
I have two more decade to get under my belt before I hit my 70’s. That fact alone kind of makes me tired just thinking about it (there’s that word again!) If I am honest the process of pondering where my life has been, where it is going and what it is I really want out of the remainder of my years on this planet, well let’s just say that for today I don’t have a plan beyond dinner time.
When you are in your 20something you have your whole life in front of you and you have this wonderful feeling of invincibility. Now, today I recognize that I am not invincible. I know that I have more days behind me than I do have in front of me but ya know that’s ok.
Perspective is the key…I think (there is that word again!)
I was getting my hair trimmed a week or so ago and as I was sitting in the chair the stylist was chatting away and asking questions. No matter which stylist I get they always comment on how thick my hair is.
“Have you ever thought of getting a bob?” she asks.
Before I answered my fist thought was I was not entirely sure I knew what a bob hair style was. Then before I could even really process her question my answers was “Ya know I just can’t think about that right now!”
The stylist answered in an understanding reply “Oh honey…..I remember those days!”
If it requires more that a brush through in the morning then for me right now that is about all I can handle. The whole reason I am not “resisting” the gray is very simple. I can’t wrap my brain around keeping up with the roots and actually having to extend any effort in thinking about making the time to either color my hair or make an appointment for someone else to color my hair. It is more effort that I can muster right now.
Then there was this small exchange between the Hubs and me in the bathroom this past Sunday morning.
The hubs remarked once again on my habit of wearing white shirts.
“You sure do like those white shirts!”
Well it’s not that I have a particular fondness for white shirts. It has more to do with the fact that I don’t have to extend any effort in making a decision on what to wear.
Not counting the laundry hamper or the one I have on right now there are 17 white shirts hanging in my closet right now.
What do Jan Fonda, my last hair cut and white shirts have to do with anything? Well I think I may have had a profound thought that connected all of this together but it seems to have left me.
Getting my hair cut into a bob, buying a shirt that is some other color beside white or thinking of what my life will be like in a another twenty years.
Y’all I just can’t think about that right now.
“I think, therefore I have no clue……..”
Where of where did my brain go……
I am scheduled for my very first colonoscopy next Monday. It should have been done a years or so ago but you know how life goes. Between the DD major surgery and the hubs had a significant health issue as well. Some of the things that should have happen in my life took a back seat as I was caring for my loved ones. Isn't that the way of all mom’s! Constantly taking care of others and then we forget to take care of ourselves. Well this week is my week of really having to remember things like…no over the counter medication with aspirin in it, no naproxen sodium (Alive) and there are a few food restriction further in the week. Don’t eat anything green or red……Suffice it to say there are a lot of things on my list this week that all require a fair amount of brain function.
Don’t eat this, don't take that, drink this every 15 minutes…….
I think…….at least I know what shirt I will be wearing to the procedure on Monday…….
Cogito ergo sum (French: "Je pense donc je suis"; English: "I think, therefore I am") is a philosophical Latin statement proposed by René Descartes. The simple meaning of the phrase is that someone wondering whether or not he exists is, in and of itself, proof that he does exist – at the very least, there must be an "I" who does the thinking.