It’s a long standing tradition here in the south. You can basically say anything about anyone as long as you follow it up with three little words.
She is just as ugly as she can be, bless her heart!
Intelligence isn’t her strong suit, bless her heart!
I also have a long standing tradition
if a tradition can actually be established in the just shy of three years of blogging here at Be Still and Know. Early on in my blogging experience I established the highly prized Goober Award which is reserved for those moments when common sense and good judgment fail and you find yourself namely me in situations where the sheer stupidity of your or my actions become evidently clear. I have been awarded this coveted prize multiple times. The Goober Award is reserved for those moments when I wonder how I actually have the brain capacity to draw breath.
Well the night was cool, I had mustered the brain capacity to actually draw breath and I was having a wonderful time. The evening breeze was pleasant, the courtyard outside the Starbuck was nearly empty. I had enjoyed my iced decaff mocha espresso immensely and Skoots1mom and I were having an equally wonderful conversation. It never ceases to amaze me at how therapeutic that act of conversation really is. I feel almost sorry for all members of the male gender for not fully embracing this aspect of friendship.
This past Thursday however circumstances occurred which warrant not only the presentation of the highly acclaimed Goober Award but also an added bonus of a If I Only Had a Brain Award as well as a heavy dose of Bless Her Heart. It was a triple header folks!
So there we are enjoying our coffee amiably chatting away.
Discussing the mundane details of the day, I had spent the majority of my morning scanning some documents into the computer that had been lost when my system crashed a few months ago. Skoots asked me about the program and how she had been trying to figure out if she could get her software to scan a text document and then convert it into a word document. Long story short her scanner does not have that capacity and mine does.
Then it happen…” I want to scan my Disciple Curriculum, it would be so much easier to be able to manipulate what is already done in the manual.” she said.
I am not sure if this will translate to the blogosphere but it was like a lightning bolt from God shot down from heaven and hit me at just how stupid I have been. “Robin, Honey!” God said. “I created you in my image, I knit you together in your mothers womb, yet I know that you, poor child, are hormonally challenged so I will give you a pass this time, but SERIOUSLY, SERIOULSY how could you have missed this one”
God was looking down at me and shaking His head and whispering those three little words “Bless Her Heart!”
It was sort like missing the forest for the trees or the nose on my face.
For weeks now I have been typing up my Disciple handouts each week. All the curriculum is right there in front of me, provide for me by the disciple program.
What had I been doing aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall morning long?
Scanning documents and converting them into word documents.
What had I been doing for the past 7 weeks?
Propping my Disciple Leaders Manual up in front of my keyboard and typing in all the questions in a new document.
Skoots compassionately looked at me with a combination of understanding mixed with a heavy dowse of eye rolling at how ridiculous I had been. I had so missed the forest for the trees. I had totally missing the very obvious solution to the tedium of having to put together my weekly handouts when they are basically already done for me save for scanning them in and hitting a convert button.
“I thought that’s what you had been doing!” she said.
Lord help me!
They’re stacking up y’all!
I will be shopping yard sales and the goodwill for a display case for my accumulating Goober, Bless Her Heart and If I Only Had a Brain Awards in the very near future.
I may open a museum and charge admission.
People pay to see stupid every day.
Y’all are getting a sneak preview for free!