Over the last several weeks I have had this nagging feeling or this constant source of irritation whirling around in my thought life. You see I’m a muller, I’m a dweller, and I have this lovely habit of letting a situation have free reign in my thought life for days, weeks, and months even.
The problem is that I may be temporarily distracted from these thoughts by something with a higher priority, but sadly when the priority is removed the difficult thoughts move back in and set up camp. I have often wondered why I have such a difficult time releasing these problematic thoughts and the feelings associate with them.
Why can’t I simply let them go and move on?
As I woke this morning I was so disappointed to find that the very first thoughts I was able to recognize were of “The Stuck in My Craw” situation I am currently processing. I had a fairly good idea of what this term meant but being the word junkie that I am I did a bit of Internet research and found the following.
stick in your craw
1. (old-fashioned) if a situation or someone's behaviour sticks in your craw, it annoys you, usually because you think it is wrong I do lots of jobs in the house but my brother says I'm lazy, and that really sticks in my craw.
2. (Australian) if someone sticks in your craw, they annoy you She sticks in my craw every time I have to deal with her.
stick in your craw
to be unacceptable and therefore annoying to you She went to prison even though she was innocent - that case has stuck in my craw ever since.
Etymology: like something you cannot swallow, based on the literal meaning of craw ( the throat of a bird)
On a completely different note, I will also say that I rarely remember my dreams, however this morning I awoke with some particularly upsetting and emotional images from a dream that I had.
I was laying in bed thinking about the disturbing images from my dream, feeling the ache in my hip from having laid in one position for to long and then the DD wanders in and asks,
“Mom do we have any newspapers?”
Maybe she wants to check the stock market, or clip coupons or just get caught up on her current events….
“No, why?” I ask as I slightly open one eye and glance up at her.
“The dog peed on the floor.”
I breathe a sigh of what can only be described as dread for yet another episode of “The Dog Whisperer! What not to do!” I give direction to her on how to clean up the lovely little puddle and then decide before anything more catastrophic happens I had best get out of bed.
As I was plodding around in my morning routine, pouring my coffee, making my soy smoothie, (back on program, healthy choices who hoo) and all in all feeling really cranky I began to make my tally.
One, having awoke from a night of disturbing dreams…
Two, having my first thoughts centered on something unpleasant,
Three, doggie pee pee
Three strikes and it isn’t even 8:00 am, well I set foot on the floor to begin my day in a really foul mood.
Yea for me!
I sat for a minute drinking my coffee and then I went in search of a bit of comfort. I found my “Streams in the Desert” and settled in with my coffee and smoothie for a bit of quiet time.
God’s word is truly living and active (HEW 4:12) for it provides the exact solace for each and every situation. I find it no coincidence (more properly defined as God-incidence) that the topic for today devotional would so perfectly fit the situation that was whirling around in my life.
The scripture for today was,
1JN 5:4 …And his commands are not burdensome, 4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 5 Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.
“If a person allows it, he (or me) can find something at every turn of the road that will rob him of his victory and his peace of mind. Satan is far from retiring from his work of attempting to deceive and destroy God’s children. At each milestone in your life, it is wise to check the temperature of your experience in order to be keenly aware of the surrounding conditions.”
“If a person allows it…”
So here is my question: Am I allowing these difficult thoughts to distract me from something?
I truly do feel in my heart of hearts that the situation in which I am having trouble letting go of is a true case of me being personally mistreated. I was not in the wrong and yet I still dwell on the situation.
Am I at a cross roads or approaching a milestone in my life and “you know who” is bent on distracting me?
So as I think about this difficult situation that is stuck in proverbial craw…
This difficult circumstance that I am having trouble swallowing down and digesting…
This bad taste that is permeating my thought life…
I know that I must commit it to prayer.
I confess I did not want to pray about it this morning but I did.
In the concluding chapter of 1 John I read these words,
1JN 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him.
I am going to continue to pray over this situation, I am also going to move about my day, cleaning my hardwoods, getting my long overdue veggie garden planted, pruning some saplings in the backyard and trusting that God can work in this situation.
I just have to be obedient and yield it over to him.
Another confession here, what I really want to do is lament over my mistreatment, whine about it, stomp my feet, demand retribution, painful and uncomfortable humiliating retribution that I can be a witness to while I stand by in superior righteous indignation.
What am I going to do?
Continue to pray and breathe through my sinful human nature.
So how do you deal with those “Stuck in My Craw” moments?